the sleepy bear

It has been way too long since my fingers have raced across the keys to punch out some seemingly thought that to no one else makes sense but me.  While I steal a minute away from my life I wanted to see if I could unearth some thought in me that has been hidden in the recesses of my heart and mind just dying to be exposed to the light of the blogosphere.

While I am really starting with no ending place in my (dangerous, I know), I at least have this thought bouncing of neurons in my brain: it is funny how passions can be de-passionated by our lack of use or involvement in them.  If you look back it has been nearly "forever" since I last posted to my blog.  Here is the question: did my passion for writing go away or did I just fail to fuel the passion?

Let me give a life example.  I grew up playing baseball.  That may be understated, I played baseball all the time. I played summer league, I played in the neighborhood, I played with tennis balls and tennis racquets, we played wiffle ball, I played imaginary games where the Cubs seemingly won the World Series every year and I either hit the walk-off home run or was the shut down closer.  Baseball was my passion.  Somewhere around 17 that stopped or at least faded away.  Sure I followed the Cubs on Sportscenter, I even attended a few games, but that passion for the grand ole game was not the same...until I had boys.

Two summers in to my sons' little league experience and I find myself not only oiling their mitts, but my own.  I not only am teaching them the fine art of hitting, running and fielding, but am finding my desire to sharpen the skill set (just in case this is the year I get drafted, in terms of baseball).  What lied dormant has been breathed new life on.  It is like the hibernating bear - sure the bear is asleep, but it is still a bear with all the power and fierceness of a bear.  And if you awaken that sleepy grizzly you will see all the power and fierceness come to life.

So the question then becomes: what are the hibernating bears in our life?  I realized I will never play professional baseball and for the most part understand it is a long shot for my boys.  But I have enjoyed awakening the bear.  But there are other bears in our lives that have gone to sleep...the bear of our marriages, the bear of our spiritual lives, the bear of a friendship or relationship with a family member, the bear of gift or talent that we use to give back to others.  In all of our lives there is something that has fallen asleep that when awake has a great passion to inspire us and move us.

The challenge is to awaken the bear...this post is me poking a stick at the writing grizzly asleep in the cave.

Firsts and Lasts

The blog has been empty for some time due to life and my laziness.  But in those moments that I have been away there have been some life moments that will never happen again.  In that moment I realized that I was seeing something very special.

During the past three months we took on the roll of typical American parents.  We have three lively and wonderful children.  The two boys consumed our spring and early summer with the grand ole' game of baseball and the four year old princess got her groove on in a dance recital.  It was a season of first's.  First base hits, first dances, first win, first losses.  It was a season of life filled with heart ache and joy.

And at the exact same moment of all these first came the realization of all the lasts.  Raising three kids and calling it quits there (more of them than us created a zone defense rather than man to man) made me realize that these very same moments were lasts.  While there will be other moments in life for firsts, these were the last first base hits, the last first dance recitals.  That coupled together were first and last moments in one, maybe not last for my kids as they will hit again and dance again.  But for me as a parent these were some last firsts.  It made me appreciate that moment in time for my kids and for myself as a parent.

This has caused the awkward realization that with every first of Andrew my oldest, comes the last with Avery my youngest.  There will be a day soon that we have to navigate a first day of middle school and on that same day navigate our last first day of kindergarten.  Each high school experience will end with one's senior year and another's freshman year, until there is just one high schooler left.  The road ahead for us will be filled with the beautiful moments that at the very same moment in time is a first and a last.

Life, the Teacher

The greatest and maybe my least favorite teacher showed up tonight, my kids.  I have found it funny how life allows us moments to teach our children lessons we need to re-learn ourselves. Our spring has been given to the great American Pastime, while neither of the boys are All-Stars yet they are having fun playing.  I guess that in of itself is a win.

Andrew my oldest is a little more determined to become better.  If he could he might live at the batting cages taking swing after swing.  On the other hand we have Isaac.  Isaac loves playing, but playing is all he loves.  Tonight while trying to coach'em up and get that swing fined tune, Ike, as we call him, sort of just quit on me, went through the motions, checked out.  While the "coach" in me wanted to "light a fire under him" and "push'em to the limit" and every other classy coaching cliche I could come up with.  The man in me reflected on me.  I embarrassingly admit there have been days in life that I have just "showed up" or "phoned it in" or "went through the motions" with some responsibility.

While Isaac's swing is not life or death, my responsibilities at least are life. They are my life. Much like Isaac's cuts in the cage, on some days I have lacked effort, lacked energy and drive. I have given less than my best to responsibility I had.

And what would a life lessons be without God smacking you right between the eyes?  As I reflected, the verse (and probably not by coincidence) came to mind that reads "do everything as unto the Lord."  Oftentimes without even realizing it, we just show up in life.  God's expectations is that we would put forth a God-sized effort into everything we do.  Whether that things is a game of baseball or a job, schoolwork or "kingdom work", God asked for our best efforts. God asks us to treat every responsibility as we are doing it for him.  Lesson re-learned!

The Toughtest Road

This entire blog is prefaced with the fact that I love Dave Ramsey. About three years ago I had a moment.  I am cautious to call it a "God" moment, though I think it is what God wants for our family.  Nonetheless in while driving my 2000 silver Dodge Dakota it was as if a switch went off with this thought: "we have to get out of debt." 

Now we had sort of taken Financial Peace, I say sort of because we had the materials, but never attended the class.  But it was if I finally was rocked by the proverb that says "A borrower is slave to the lender."  All of you know what I mean, your credit card company out of the goodness of their heart takes individual concern for your credit rating and gives you a "courtesy" phone call to remind you that you owe them money.  And it is at that moment you suddenly realize you have lost your freedom.  Lost freedom to spend your money as you want, but are indebted to Citi Card or Chase or Bank of America or whoever has your freedom tied to line of credit. 

So for three years we have been navigating this road of debt reduction.  We have reduced our debt by about 50% (our starting debt was over $90,000).  As Dave says with Gazelle Intensity, which at times has been little more than a turtle's pace as in the midst of becoming free of debt we have made some other transitions.  This road has not been easy.  Case in point, I type this blog on a Dell computer (yuck!) instead of the sleek and super cool Mac that I desire.  On the other side that silver 2000 Dodge Dakota parked in front of my house, all mine, no more payments.  But we are doing our best "to live like no one else, in order to LIVE like no one else!" 

FREEDOM!!!! -- Willam Wallace

Easter Thoughts - Day 55

While Easter this year was bursting with traditions - baskets, egg hunts and ham dinner.  If felt a little more like 55 days later.  Let me explain.  The book of Acts gives us this snapshot image of this thing called the "church" organically coming together sharing life, possessions, food and whatever else was needed.  This passage takes place some 40 days post resurrection, another 10 days post ascension and sometime after the Day of Pentecost.  So let's call it day 55 after Easter! 

While our service was Easter-y (if that is even a word).  Our post service activities felt a little more day 55ish. The current status of LifeGate is a bunch of young adults and young families, most of which have distance between themselves and their biological families.  So today, we were family!  We brought our food to share, our lives to entangle with one another.  In essence we were the church!  We were just the church as pictured on Day 55.  It was one of the best holidays I can remember (no offense Mom).  There was something right about it, something genuine, something Day 55 like.

Not saying that every holiday is going to look like this from now on.  But this moment in time was a reminder and a reflection of as much what Easter was purposed for: 1) lost being found and 2) the family of God being a family.  Thanks LifeGate family for being my family this Easter.

God Be Praised [+Digital Booklet]