Not gonna lie, I miss it.
I took myself out of the game by choice. I was injured. I was hurting. I was in need of getting healthy.
But in my most honest reflection, I miss communicating and teaching. I miss standing in front of the audience/congregation. I miss the tinge of nervousness as you begin with a not so funny joke that you are hoping goes over. I miss the look in the eyes of someone as the gain understanding and connect with what you are sharing.
While 99% of people would rather face a grizzly bear in a steal cage match, I love speaking! But when this is who you are it is hard to deny!
I love conveying truth to people. I love giving people tools to better their lives. I love digging out ideas and presenting them in a way where someone says "I've never thought about it that way." I love the creative process. I love partnering ideas with music in an artistic marriage in that moment. I love to draw pictures with my words and sell my paintings to eager listeners.
My healing process has been long and pro-longed, mostly by me. I have built my own roadblocks to my recovery. At times thinking that staying away is the best answer.
Yet what I realize and know deep down is that what I am built, wired and birthed to do is teach and speak. Hiding from that is like asking a lion to be a house cat. Not a good plan!
In time this tame tabby cat will once again become king of the jungle and "you're gonna hear me roar."
